Grace and Gratitude

Photo courtesy of the Murray family

The phone call came out of the blue back in 2015. It was around 11:30 a.m on a semi-chilly November afternoon, a short time before the lunch hour at work. I stared briefly at the 614 number. It was an Ohio area code I knew well, having lived in the Buckeye state for more than a decade. I quickly answered.

“Hi Karen. It’s Tom Murray from Wittenberg,” the voice on the other end said. My head went into rapid processing mode as Tom was the then chair of the Wittenberg University Board of Directors. I had worked at Wittenberg, my alma mater, for 16 years prior to accepting another position at a small liberal arts college on the East Coast. I had only been at my new job for about nine months.

Confused and a bit nervous, I responded with the standard greeting: “Hi Tom. How are you doing?” I knew Tom from several prior engagements, as he previously co-led a marketing task force at Wittenberg and established the Parents Leadership Circle. He and his wife Melanie also sent all four of their children to Wittenberg, despite not being alumni themselves.

But this was a different conversation, one that changed the course of my career and, more importantly, brought into my life an encourager, supporter, and dear friend.

Tom wanted me to consider returning to my alma mater for a variety of reasons. I knew he was a visionary in his own career as CEO of Perio Inc., the parent company of Barbasol and Pure Silk shaving products, and I could feel that same energy in our initial chat and in those that followed. I think what stood out the most in these conversations, though, was how he championed others, including me. He believed firmly that family and friends matter the most, and he wanted people to succeed in anything they pursued. He also had a knack for making people laugh, a gift that ensured that any time with him was special. And so, after talking with my family and saying multiple prayers, I eventually accepted Tom’s offer to return to Wittenberg.

A few months into my new remote role, however, life took a turn as Tom found himself in the midst of a health crisis. I didn’t ask too many questions — Tom and his amazing wife Melanie would share more in their own time and on their own terms, I knew. What we did know was that Tom wanted to make some changes, including relinquishing his role as chair, while he and his family figured out the next steps. I distinctly recall tearing up at the thought of Tom no longer in a leadership role at Wittenberg as the questions he often posed as a marketing genius were thought-provoking, and he enjoyed uniting others around a goal. Always approachable, he also brought levity to every situation with a fun story or saying, while occasionally donning flip-flops with khaki pants, a button-down shirt, and a casual jacket at meetings.

Months passed with regular updates from Melanie. From the start, he and Melanie were on this journey together, and journey they did — working closely with top cancer docs in Ohio, the Midwest, and on an international scale. Tom and I connected during the holidays a while back, and like always, his kindness and humor came through loud and clear on the phone. A new experimental drug out of Germany was working wonders, and he was loving his new role as a grandpa. He was back to playing golf, his business was doing well, and he shared that he was beyond blessed.

“I have everything I need — faith, my family, and friends. What more could a person want?” Tom said during our call. He knew what was important — all the time — and he lived each day with that focus at the forefront. We concluded our call with some more kind words and a few traditional holiday greetings, and I hung up with smile, having been blessed once again by Tom’s grace and gratitude.

Last month, on March 22, 2023, God called Tom home at age 61. He lived nearly seven years longer than doctors first projected, resulting in the chance to make far more memories as a proud father, husband, grandparent, and friend. Melanie, his wife of 40 years was by his side, and his oldest son, Caleb, wrote a beautiful tribute to his father, noting that Tom “leaves behind a daily devotional whose loose pages and creased spine attest to his deep, personal faith. He also leaves behind a near-Angelic multitude of golf buddies and life-long friends. As Proverbs 27 and common wisdom attest, a man’s character is reflected by the people he surrounds himself with. Tom’s pantheon of compassionate, uproarious, and principled friends speaks volumes.”

Indeed they do. Taking Tom’s call seven years ago changed my course, but in reality, more than one course was changed in Tom’s lifetime; hearts were too.

— Karen Gerboth